Divorce is challenging, especially when you need to co-parent during the holidays. If you are just going through the process or if you’ve been divorced for a while and need to revisit the parenting agreement, family lawyer Brian Grady can help you protect your family, your finances, and your future.
For those who already have a divorce decree, the first step to a successful holiday season is to follow the parenting plan. We all know though, that holiday season is when special circumstances arise. You may want extra time for holiday events, parties, or celebrations and your former partner may want that as well. There may be anxiety about new routines and lost traditions. One thing that is certain, with open communication and a collaborative approach, you can have a successful and enjoyable holiday season.
Follow the parenting plan
As much as you can, try to follow the agreement or judgment and maintain a consistent schedule for the kids. It is highly likely that in the agreement, time was split as equitably as possible. Perhaps you have the kids for this Thanksgiving while your former partner has them for the next one. Consistency helps kids feel in control of their environment and feel more comfortable, confident, secure.
If changes need to be made, make sure to communicate early and honestly. You don’t want to have any last-minute disputes over who gets to spend time with the children. Talk with your former partner about what you want and why you want it. Allow them to request special occasions and additional time as well. Try to make it as amiable as possible so the kids do not feel like they’re being pulled in different directions or being put in the middle of a parental squabble.
If you’re having difficulty negotiating with your former partner, you may need to consult an attorney. Family lawyer Brian Grady has helped many clients revisit their parenting agreements and make adjustments that are better suited to their families’ needs. Contact the Law Office of Brian Grady today for a consultation.
Discuss Gifts and Activities
As co parents, it is important to discuss the details of the holidays before they come around. You will need to discuss events, for example. Are there going to be Holiday concerts at the children’s school? Are there work events you will need to attend? Is the extended family getting together for a large celebration? Whatever the special circumstances are, working out a modified schedule so both of you can celebrate with the children is important.
You also want to discuss gifts. Of course, you both want to give your children gifts and the holidays are an ideal time to splurge. It is, however, a good idea to make sure you’re not getting them the same thing, or that one parent is giving more than the other. Now is not the time to try and outdo your former partner. Your goal is to give your kids a great holiday.
For larger items, such as a phone, you can consider going in on the item together. You can also discuss the ground rules you would both like for that technology, so your child has clear expectations for both households.
Keeping the communication open is very important. You need to have an open dialogue with your former partner as well as your children. If you’re having trouble with the process, family lawyer Brian Grady can help you determine the best solutions that meet your family’s goals.
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Family lawyer Brian Grady can give you guidance on co parenting during the holidays
Being flexible is important during the holidays. That doesn’t mean you have to give in to everything your former partner wants and they don’t have to give in to everything you want either. There are so many unique opportunities and occasions that arise during the holidays, keeping an open mind and being willing to negotiate will help make your holidays more enjoyable.
If it’s not that easy for you and your former partner to work out a different holiday arrangement, contact family lawyer Brian Grady. Discuss your needs and your goals for your children during the holidays. Go over your parenting plan together. Then you can determine what your options are and how you can have a peaceful and enjoyable holiday season.